Mrs. Prayer Meeting died recently at The First Neglected Church, on Worldly Avenue. Born many years ago in the midst of great revivals, she was a strong, healthy child, fed largely on testimony and Bible Study, soon grew into world-wide prominence, and was one of the famous church family.
For the past several years Mrs. Prayer Meeting has been failing in health, gradually wasting away until rendered helpless by stiffness of knees, coldness of heart, inactivity, and weakness of purpose and power. At the last she was but a shadow of her former happy self. Her last whispered words were inquiries concerning the strange absence of her loved ones now busy in the markets of trade and places of worldly amusements.
Experts, including Dr. Works, Dr. Reform, and Dr. Joiner, disagreed as to the cause of her fatal illness. They had administered large doses of organizations, socials, contests, and drives, but to no avail. A postmortem showed that a deficiency of spiritual food; coupled with the lack of faith, heartfelt religion, and general support, were contributing causes.
Only a few were present at her death, sobbing over memories of her past beauty and power. In honor of her passing, the church doors will be closed on Wednesday nights, except for the third Wednesday night of each month when the Ladies Pink Lemonade Society serves refreshments to the Men's Handball Team.