Devils Beatitudes

Blessed are those who are

too tired
too busy
too distracted

to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians

they are my best workers.

Blessed are those Chrsitans who

who wait to be asked
and expect to be thanked

I can use them.

Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church

they are my missionaries

Blessed are the troublemakers

they shall be called my children

Blessed are the complainers

I'm all ears to them

Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes

for they get nothing out of his sermons

Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church

for he is part of the problem instead of the solution

Blessed are those who gossip

for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me

Blessed are those who are easily offended

for they will soon get angry and quit

Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work

for they are my helpers

Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister

for he shall be with me forever

Blessed are you who

when you read this think it is about other people and not yourself

I've got you too!